Uranus!

I have never been the type of tart to suffer fools gladly and hence the reason why all my men are über intelligent (shut up Crombie)… I have, however, had the nightmare-ish experience as of this morning of having to deal with a new breed of fool. A breed I never though could possibly exist.

This breed has no logic, no thought process; actually they have no fucking thoughts. They are incapable of thinking and probably spend the majority of their day concentrating on breathing in and out! This breed of fool is the ultimate human waste of space and a true testament to why incest is illegal!

I mean processes are designed and specific implementation tools are developed to aid all of us in our daily shlep through this thing called Tart-Ville aka Life so why in the fucking hell are the almighty thick and fucking useless in fucking capable of using them? Hey? Mmmm?

Where oh where you may ask fearfully may you encounter this new type of baboon? Planet Fucking-Futile is where! These people have got to be the most incompetent bags of shit on the planet …

Their staff clearly hasn’t a fucking clue what joining through Momentum means! The ignoramuses phoned me today to tell me the joyful news that my gym membership was expiring tomorrow! EXCUSE FUCKING ME?! I DON’T THINK SO GEORGIE BOY! For fucks sake people a once-off membership fee is just that you stupid bastards! There is about as much intelligence in their staff as a stack of jelly gums on the floor!

I mean do they have a certain level of stupid that there moronic fucking imbecilic people have to pass in order to work for Planet Fuckwitts? I can just see the ad now:

Will give you job. Call 0800 I AM MORON (0800 2666766)

It clearly must be that fucking simple… The triple 6’s only go to illustrate my theory that these people are fucking evil bastards out to ensure that my blood pressure goes through the god damn roof and I kill at least 5 children on my home tonight! *hee hee hoeeeeee…hee hee hoeeeeeeee* Fucking fuckers the lot of ‘em!

The aggravation and pure hatred that I feel towards this fucking gym fileld with a useless bunch of scheit for employees is gi-fucking-fungus right now. If there was a bloody Virgin near me (hee hee) I would move my fucking membership faster than you could say Durex!

I have never in my entire tarty life had to deal with such a bunch of monkeys! Not even the Tweedle Twins and Butthead are this fucking fucking fucking – ARG! Jeeeeeeeeee-sus H Christ!!!!

To all Planet Fitness’ employees:
1. STOP CALLING ME YOU HARASSING BASTARDS
2. I AM A PAYING (that’s p-a-y-i-n-g!) CUSTOMER
3. GO SHOVE YOURSELVES UP A PARTICULAR PLANET’S SOLAR SYSTEM YOU USELESS SODS!