What, no more adrenalin?

I think my adrenal glands are empty... No seriously, I think they have packed their bags and taken a holiday!

I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised after all the amount of overtime they have been putting in. You see, I've had one of those weeks. One of those weeks where you just don't have time to eat, let alone spare 20 minutes in the morning to blow-dry your hair (the result of which has lead me to the conclusion that non blow-dried hair really isn't a very tit look for me). My week has been manic and has left me feeling a bit flat - ever had that?

I find it all very odd...

The worst part is that I had to cancel drinks, lunches etc with so many tarts that I fear next week might see my adrenal glands being kicked into overtime again, but on the social front. Which is great for me, but not so fantastic for my bank account and my liver!

The Aftershock of a Phone Call

Ever have one of those phone calls that when you hear your cell ring and see who's calling you, your eyes grow with complete surprise (and maybe a bit of horror) and for a split second you ponder whether or not you should answer that call?

Well I just have. About 15 minutes ago.

My Ex phoned. Now this ex, we'll call him Trainer Man, and I were together for 2.5 years - I ended it after realising that I just didn't love him anymore. We stayed in contact, on a very sporadic basis, and from time to time he drops me a text or a call to see how I am or as he so oddly says: "I like to know what is going on in your life"

But I digress...

The point is Trainer Man called me 15 minutes ago. He ran into The Parental Unit known as "Mom" and he thought of me. So he called. I can't quite explain how I felt chatting to him - I think weird is the best description, with a bit of freak mixed in there as well...

Apparently he is moving in with the New Girl (who I oddly enough went to Varsity with - such a small big world we live in) and the plans are slowly but steadily progressing towards Marriage Lane. This, I find extremely fucking hilarious but fair is fair. Anyhoo, I was nearing the end of the convo, quite chuffed with the way the whole thing had gone, and then *BAM* he asked to see me. For a casual drink or cup of coffee. This really took me by surprise. Now normally I would brush him off and make up some excuse, but for some reason I didn't this time... Well that's not enriely ture, I just didn't brush him off immediately. Maybe it's because I have The Pilot in my life (who is absolutely deevine). Maybe it's cause I felt like he doesn't have another motive, then again... who knows?!

So strange, one day you're at the office and the next you're being asked to see an ex to have coffee or a glass of vino with him on Sunday!

...Behind a Glass Wall of Emotion

Love. It's the stuff that great songs are written about...

... What I find so odd is that we so happily and merrily sing along to these songs of love but yet it is probably the hardest thing to have to tell someone. Ok, so maybe not the hardest but certainly the scariest. Think it has something to do with our (read: my) fear of rejection. The fear the the other person won't love you back. Fuck, I sound like a writer for Mills & Boon being briefed on the next book.

Generally I have a policy that I like to stick to when it comes to "I love you's"... it's always worked for me in the past and has meant that I have never had to plunge head first into the pool. Basically, my policy is that I won't tell a guy that I love him until he has said it to me first. The feminist in me believes this is a load of bullshit as women today should be able to express themselves where and when they feel like it. The girl in me still wants to protect herself.

Some of my fellow tarts think this policy of mine is mental - after all us tarts are liberated etc. The thing, as much as I view myself as an equal when it comes to men, I'm not entirely sure I want to stand up and be counted as one. I think being feminine is a beautiful thing and is something very powerful...

Reason for this post is that I think I am getting to that stage with The Pilot. I'm not entirely sure if I love him yet but I know that I am definitely past falling in love with him. He makes me smile from the inside out... and that is a beautiful thing!

Celebrating time well spent...

So today is The Pilot and my 2 month anniversary- I know, it sounds absolutely pathetic that one would "celebrate" a 2 monther but in my books this is a very fucking hard (and wonderful) thing to have achieved. Normally I don't make it past the 6 week mark or should I say they don't make it past the 6 week mark. I get annoyed or pissed off or start feeling claustrophobic and Bob's your uncle I gracefully show them the front door.

But not this time.

This time, 8 weeks later, I'm happy. Fucking giddy is more like it and the thought of having an anniversary to celebrate is giving me that warm fuzzy feeling - kinda like the feeling you get after having a glass or three of Gluwine. Tastic.

I think it's really cool that today we will be celebrating the last 8 weeks. Feels like being rewarded for achieving something great. Think this anni is also an important one as we never celebrated the first one and the next two we shall be celebrating apart as The Pilot will be on contract in Africa for 2 months...

So although I feel a bit trivial in telling everyone what a fantastic day the 6th August is, I can't help but want to hold on to that warm fuzzy feeling for as long as possible!