Oooooooooh what a night! Sooooo this Friday saw one of best mate’s from Cape Town (Crazy B) have her first ever taste of Jozi and man I think it is a taste that she, nor I for that matter, will ever forget!
It was this tart’s great honour to show her all the places where I have on numerous occasions um *cough cough* thrown a bit of name. So I rounded up the gals and off we disappeared into the sunset. First port of call was of course Qba. And as soon as we walked in there (wearing the shit-hot tarts look for the evening) it was unmistakably evident that Karma was on our side! Yeah baby yeah!
We were all up for a major fucking round of tail feather shaking and just general throwing of name and thus a few Tequilas later, we where good to go… Our next point of call? Jozi’s finest meat market! I mean where else are you guaranteed to at least find some Grade A, Top Choice Meat?!
Boy did we find fillet! Amongst all the tail feather shaking (which I managed to do it brand new fucking 6 inch heels – totally disproved the theory that new shoes aren’t comfie, go tart!) Crazy B and I managed spend the majority of the evening eye-fucking the scheit out of some fine specimens.
What really amaze me is that one particular specimen pulled a complete sneaky sneaky and managed to find me… Audi Boy turned out to be a completely brilliant snog with a body that I swear to fucking God if I knew how to iron, I would iron my clothes on. He makes the ironing board a completely obsolete appliance! The man’s body is just an ode to perfection, he has those lines that indicate where his hips are – I am a complete sucker for these lines. I will do anything for a guy with these lines – anything!
Now you might be pondering how on God’s green earth I managed to see Audi Boy’s bod? Mmmm, after shaking my ass until 5am and Manhattan deciding that it was now a respectable time to close – Audi Boy invited us over to his place where we could continue the debaucherious behaviour whilst savoring exceptionally expensive whisky! A man truly after my own heart! Ok wait, hold up – from the sounds of that sentence it looks rather fucking apparent that a threesome was had – oh so not even close you sick sick people! Crazy B had managed to hook one of the fine fellas – he of course turned out to be a foreigner (mmmm, extra points for those) und a doctor (bonus points) as well which meant that they really had to choice but to engage in less talk and more action…
So six of us (Audi Boy, moi, Crazy B, Foreign Doctor plus his 3 mates – one of which was called Boy *shrug of shoulders* foreigners!) headed back to Audi Boy’s place where he racked up a couple more points – the man has great taste (duh)! Anyhoo the whisky flowed and so did a lot of things as well. I did keep it very tidy and didn’t give up the nookie, which took a fuck load of self-control on this tart’s part – extra points for me… KA-CHING!
Eventually our Friday night came to a drunken and very satisfying end *wicked grin* at 8am on Saturday morning! After dropping Crazy B’s Foreign Doctor off at his hospital (he was due on duty in an hour – mmmm really hope he didn’t kill anyone…) we finally crawled into bed looking like slapped up hookers from Oxford Rd with fucking peas for brains!
CHA-EARS TO THAT!
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