Well I had a rather fucking bad hangover on Saturday brought on after a major night out with Crombie and the other two Fab 4 members! Debauchery was in the air like no-other… Of course Crombie and I hooked with some random hotties at the bar where we proceeded to get rather shit faced (what’s new) and we eventually managed to lose Fab 4 members 3 & 4…
So we awoke, absolutely devastatingly hung over, and decided to give the boys a ring to discuss where exactly they had disappeared to and if they got the Windhoek’s we bought for them (still not sure if this was the brand they wanted). Anyhoo, I went through the usual motion of swooping into my phonebook and dialing R’s…
Ring, ring… Ring, ring:
Crombie und I: WASSSSSSSSSSUP! Hey dude hows the head today?
R: Hey you. Not too bad actually – why do you ask?
Us: Well after we couldn’t find you last night we figured that you had disappeared home drunk. But thanks for such an awesome evening – and you were totally right the men there were just deevine! But seriously dude what time did you leave cause Crombie and I couldn’t find you guys anywhere to say goodbye…
R: Huh? Who’s Crombie…
Us: hahahaha - funny dude! You are hungover! *lol* Oh by the by did you get the Windhoek’s – said to Crombie that I wasn’t sure if they were even the right brand but figured you wouldn’t mind as we had hooked up with some serious talent at the bar which we apologise for ditching you guys over but figured you wouldn’t mind as it was eye candy…
R: Um, no I didn’t get the Windhoek’s – don’t actually drink Windhoek’s. Glad you had a good time – was deejaying at that point in the evening so that’s probably why I didn’t see you.
(This is where I was thinking since when does R fucking DJ???? But shrugged it off as a side I just didn’t know my friend possessed…)
Us: Anyway dude, what you guys getting up to today? Definitely reckon that we hit Sudada again soon though…
R: Sorry where?
Us: Su – da - da, you know the place we threw name at last night... Hullo wakey wakey??!!!
R: *clearing of throat cough* Um I think you have the wrong R hey…
(Me: Oh FUCK! At this point I actually turned to Crombie with a blank face not knowing who in the fuck this guy was mouthing who is this freak? Eventually the little light bulb in the corner went kaching: this R was one of the guys I shagged in Cape Town – whilst the phone was only inches from my god damn big mouth I said that out loud! Yes I know what a charmingly retarded buffoon I was!)
*silence from the other end of the phone*
Me: Oh shit – sorry man. Bit hungover and actually possibly still drunk. Well R number 1 here’s hoping that you have a great day – excuse us we are now going to phone R #2 aka the right R…
R: Hey no worries – was good to hear from you! Have a wicked day as well…
I mean what kind of toolish tart behaviour is that?! Why I even have this guy’s bloody number in my god damn phone is a mystery… I just couldn’t believe that I had just had a convo (particularly that convo) with the R I shagged 4 months ago and then told him to politely vacate! Great – Karma you suck balls you know that don’t you bitch?! ARG!
Eventually we managed to get hold of the right R – the Fab 4 R who of course spent what felt like 50 hours laughing his ass off at my stupendously blonde phone call. Am still reeling with total embarrassment!
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2 comments:
Oh boozy, my dear!
Mistaken identity sucks - perhaps you should start labelling these people as *SHAG* in yr phonebook, mind you, might not have enough memory on your 25MB sim ;>
Kisses, SUDADA soon!
Mmmm... Well Right R my dear, I think that is a stupendous idea - I am due for an upgrade on my cellphone soon so will ensure that I choose one with a um bigger memory :) Apologies for the lack of brilliant pseudo name for you but nothing I could think of did you any justice!
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