What is it with soon-to-be-married people making sure that all the single folk who shall be attending their wedding have a date? Mmmm – anyone? Personally the mere thought of having to find a date, let alone one that will most definitely look shit hot on my arm, is a rather daunting prospect. Most of the guys I know probably won’t ever speak to me again (I have a slight problem with being polite when it comes to breaking things off)…
My most recent encounter with this dilemma came in the form of the invite to my close mate’s wedding. I am her matron of honour – such a gad awful phrase as just sounds as ancient and boring as playing chess – and therefore am required to bring someone. But not just anyone you see. This someone has to be so delectable that the camera will want to fuck him five times from Sunday. It’s bad enough that I will forever be etched in my mate’s wedding photo’s wearing the most hideous dusty pink satin (yes you read that correctly) dress but if my so called date for the event isn’t super duper panty dropping material then her photo’s will be ruined! Talk about pressure.
Luckily I am blessed with the gift of the gab and I think I have managed to argue my case for single tarts around the world. My argument was simple, to the point and in the end I am hoping that my dear duhling friend has seen the light at the end of the shot gun ;)
After all, how can I possibly play spin the empty champagne bottle under the table at the reception if I appear seemingly attached?
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