Firstly I must thank my dearest Crombie for my incredibly flatter stomach due to a retarded amount of laughing and my fucking paining head! Especially since the little cow is still in bed sleeping – has the day off as it is some or other Jewish holiday, catch is: she isn’t fucking Jewish. But 10 points for working the system girl!
Anyhoo, Crombie and I had decided to have a bit of a Pumba session aka pig day out! Speaking of Pumbas – anybody remember that song from The Lion King? Well that was our theme for yesterday: Are you aching…Yip yip yip… For some bacon…Yip yip yip…You can be a big pig too! Oi! Now a day like this always involves a revolting amount of vino, pizza, chocies and generally everything else that us tarts should NOT be eating. Naturally, do we give a continental? I dudn’t thinks so…
The day basically started off with Crombie and I paruzzing around the BP’s of this world, namely the one’s in Parktown North & Parkhurst, whilst pumping the tunes attempting to play the roles of hard core rapper types all decked out in the latest gear (I think we were both still pissed from the night before) and I suppose just generally acting completely fucking retarded – the attendants were giving me the evil eye man I swear!
So after deciding that the video store next to good ol’ Colony thought we were mental people (tick next to things to achieve before I turn 25), we headed off to celebrate. Bottle of vino numero uno. This of course lead me to wow Crombie with my stupendous IQ when after klapping my bloody head on my car door (I swear someone secretly and very sneaky like dropped my suspension) proudly exclaimed I had a knob! A fucking knob!!! I will leave the jokes that ensued up to your creative and warped little minds…
Crombie and I then starting talking drunk – always a wonderful thing and my favourite time of the day too. Nobody who is sober and therefore completely fucking boring and a waste of your time will understand, which of course only amuses you more… So our convo went something kinda like this whilst catching a glimpse at some ad for epilepsy (don’t ask):
BoozyT: It must be so crap to suffer from epi..um…epil…mmmm, aha epsileps!
Crombie: Hee hee, you dumb fuck – its epilepsy
BoozyT: Har har har, I knew that! But seriously can you imagine saying that to someone – I suffer from epsileps! Fucking mental…
Crombie: Your fucking mental! Hee hee, my ex-sister-in-law used to called it elliptical aka an elliptical fit!
BoozyT: Fucking moron! Can you imagine – she is having an epsileps elliptical fit people! Somebody call 911! I ponder if having epsileps gets worse around an eclipse cause it’s after all elliptical *bu ha ha*
Talk about being über intelligent! So yes I may be living up to the reputation of now being a complete fucking dumb blonde but nothing beats a Crombie kinda day!
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