When Girls Drink Too Much...

1. We have absolutely no idea where our purse is.

2. We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our butt while yelling "woo-hoo!" is truly the sexiest dance move around.

3. We've suddenly decided that we want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe we could do it too.

4. In our last trip to pee, we realize that we now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess we were just four hours ago

5. We start crying and telling everyone we see that we love them sooooo much.

6. We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song play's because "oh my god! I love this song!"

7. We've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to us.

8. We've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.

9. We yell at the bartender, who we believe cheated us by giving us just lemonade, but that's just because we can no longer taste the gin.

10. We think we are in bed, but our pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor (or the mop?)

11. We fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when we sit on it.

12. We take our shoes off because we believe it's their fault that we're having problems walking straight.

LJ sent me this wonderful piece of journalism this morning and I must say that I had a considerable gas when I read it. I could identify / have done EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE and some on any given good night of pissing it up and I must say a good time was definitely had by all!

Case in point: last night *bashful smile* Had a few of the matie o’s over for dinner, considering that I was turning into one of those fucking sponge Bob mates that I cannot bloody well stand and therefore figured I needed to pay them back per say. Well one bottle of vino lead to another which lead to another 4 or 5 or whatever, lost count *shrug of shoulders* Everything started going a little fuzzy at this point…

I do, however, remember Kelloggs showing Crombie and I how to walk like a smodel. But not just any smodel walk, oh no – Kelloggs brought out the big guns! She tried, in what must have been a rather vain and fucking pathetic attempt, to show us how to do the box walk. Um sorry – WHAT?! Exactly my bloody fucking point! Needless to say I couldn’t coordinate my ass from my elbow and hence landed up looking a smodel gone wrong! I do blame vino, naturally of course, but I do fear that my dreams of having the smodel catwalk swank have been horribly fucking crushed…

Oh well, CHEERS!