So last night my team and I had The Dinner. The Dinner involved hub nubbing with our Directors as well as our big international CFO – their idea of course and in some way this was to thank us for being well, the best fucking team they have ever had! Too bloody right *chuffed smile* Now the evening and the wine flowed fantastically, much to my surprise, and the food was excellente (big thank you to Piccolo Mondo – I’ll definitely be back, when the bill isn’t mine of course!)
A comment was made though at the beginning of the evening which not only saw the tart break out in cold sweats but the I tie in me was ready to kill! I have cousins who have friends who cousins who have connections… CEO simply asked me, with a dead-pan face as well – the bastard, if I thought that Tame B was a good boss? I’m sorry I didn’t catch that – can you repeat?! At first I thought he was joking – I mean Tame B, my and Super-H’s boss? hahahahaha, good one – if this CEO thing doesn’t work out at least you know you can make it as a comedian!
I stood there, glanced over to Tame B waiting for her to tell him that he had it all wrong – she wasn’t our boss, just a mere team mate, one of the pond scums like us… I waited, und I waited some more and then I realised it wasn’t gonna happen, she was just standing fluttering her eyelids and so if I actually wanted something to eat (at this point was starving and could have eaten a chunk outta a horses ass!) I had to answer him – you know swallow my pride and confess to being someone’s fucking kippie! I managed to mumble something into my vino (whoever said alcohol wasn’t useful was a fucking liar) which he seemed happy with and along we went or so everyone thought…
I have a terrible habit of harping – and this comment was going to become the next big harpe! I woke up this morning and pondered: how the fuck did the Directors get this “idea” into their heads? I mean ok so she was here before Super-H und moi but then again so were the bloody dinosaurs…And then it hit me – like a ton of fucking bricks *BAM*: she must be feeding the idea and the fucking ignoramuses that we call our true bosses are lapping this scheit up, mouthful by mouthful! It makes perfect sense and what better way than to look like the poster child for fucking Noddy Badges than to portray your team mates as your fucking bend-over-backwards-so-I-can-ass-rape-you phlebs! Nice, clever and mostly very fucking sneaky! I mean how else do you make sure that your star is always the shiniest and the brightest and the prettiest – you can surely see the sick picture that is starting to form here!
In my moment of pure genius, all the condescending comments and behaviour made sense – the fucking bossy glances, all of it! It fit like a fucking warped out puzzle! As Super-H so brilliantly stated:
It truly gets me twitching when she takes that pseudo-authoritative tone with me. I just want to scream “yes, I know! I HAVE managed to tie my shoelaces and get to work this morning. Oh, and I’ve also written quite a few successful proposals before this one THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!”
Nicely said Super-H! Luff you longtime fi’ dollar – thank fuck I work with someone normal!!!
In the midst of this cocky Whose The Boss bullshit, Tame B’s most mother fucking annoying habit dawned on me and the root of its evil become evident! She makes damn fucking sure that you know how hard she works, how late she is working, how tired she is, how long she has been at work for, how, how, HOWWWWWWWWW!!!! It’s just so fucking irritating – I mean the key to working in life is to work smart, not long aka slow for poes sake… But I figure it’s her fucking life and if she wants to piss it away sitting at a desk doing countless hours of slavery only to turn around and receive her weekly pat on the head from CEO then she can go blow herself cause I certainly won’t be joining her!
Super-H and I considered the option of selling ourselves pretty much down the same river and then realised that we could do that just by standing at our desk looking all lush and tart like! Besides, one day the tables shall be turned and we will be decked head-to-toe in nothing but Prada, Gucci and Dolce & Gabbana whilst Tame B will be asking: can you spell Gabbana for me?!
Ps. To Karma: this blog posting doesn’t count towards my overall Great Human Being Award!
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