So tomorrow I take the massive leap from one side of the abyss to the other.... and I am fucking petrified. Mmmm, ok so maybe that is a slight exaggeration, after all how can giving up smoking be petrifying I ask myself? Well, quite fucking easily actually. Smoking for me is my crutch - it is to me what chocolate is for most tarts. It's my coping mechanism...
Apparently as a little boozy tart in the making, I used to have a coping mechanism that was pink. More specifically, it was pink and white with a big sheep in the middle of it. Yip, my blankey went everywhere with me. I was one of those kids who used to sit in front of the washing machine and howl like dog, all the time watching my beloved blankey being swooshed around in this big mixing bowl of water and soap. It was rather traumatising...
I wonder if this experience has made me fearful when having to give up my crutches / coping mechanisms?! Of course, I know the health benefits of giving up smoking, every ignoramus knows them, but I am truly nervous. How will I get through a stressful day at work? More importantly, how is my left hand going to feel when I go out boozing and she is just left... hanging there really - nothing to hold, nothing to occupy her with. I mean they say idle hands are the devil's playground so does that mean that my left hand has the potential to become evil? It's all very thought provoking...
Then of course there is the smoke I have on the way to work. This little Charlie Johnson is a major part of starting my day - clears my head and helps me focus. What am I to do from tomorrow morning whilst I drive to work? Sing? Enjoy the sights and sounds? My Talented Brother has suggested that I drive with my middle finger extended as that way my hand will have somthing to do and the car trip to work will be so interesting that I won't care / notice that I ain't huff puffing away. Mmmm, I think this might be a solution but could aggravate my road rage further - prolly not a good idea then...
I didn't smoke for three years. Three fucking years. How the fuck I managed this I have fuck all clue but I find myself racking my brains for the solution... and nothing, not a damned fucking thing comes to mind as to how exactly I went about doing this. Most people would answer willpower... well you know what - fuck willpower, I want an easy solution dammit!
Tomorrow I will technically be a non-smoker. From tomorrow I will sit with the non-smokers when going out to eat. Tomorrow... is going to be a fucking bitch! BUGGER!
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Hey Honey. It's hard and I totally don't envy you. What I found helped was Nicorettes - not the patches or the gum, but these sif pills you pop under your tongue every time you crave a ciggie. That's where I battled. Because I craved hard and hard ridiculous withdrawls. So good luck.
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