Five times from Sunday... and then some!

Apparently my mate, Schmo, hasn't had a shag in 8 months!

Fuck. Me.
(this is where he would probably drop to his knees, begging and pleading whilst yelling: yes phuleez)

I find this concept of being shagless very hard to grasp. Especially when the said unshagged individual is a guy! Don't get me wrong, I understand that everyone goes through what I like to term "dry patches". Patches of fruitlessness. Patches that have actually lead to a mate getting blue balls - although I am pretty sure that his no fucking period was way longer than 8 months.

But besides the whole dry patch thang, how on God's green earth do you go that long? Do you forget what a good roggering feels like? Maybe... What I can't seem to quite understand is how in today's modern society where, let's face it, Tequila and fuck loads of Jaggie Bombs practically guarantee even the most unfortunate looking peoples a night of romping, do you not manage to come right???

I understand that you won't be tapping that every night but seriously. All one would have to do is fork out a little cash - in the case of Schmo - schmooze some tart at like The Mandog or gawd forbid Casa and fucks your uncle, you're getting laid. Would only have to be done like twice to relieve the feeling of being a sexual reject, right? Plus if you take all the right precautions nothing serious would happen either, except that you might start becoming confuzzed as to what exactly her name is...

... although, thanks to post-its, that shouldn't be a problem either!