Rat Bag

So Audi Boy turned out to be a bit of loop, one more loop and he would have been a complete fucking fruit loop, complete with crazy ass bird on the front of his box. Men like him should carry warning stickers on them so super tarts like me know when to just fucking walk on by and not waste any more time than we already have…

Now when I first met Audi Boy, I thought he was great – breath of fresh air and all that jazz. Well the only breath he proved to be was one of utter dishonesty and pure bullshit. Like Coward the cowardly dog! In the beginning I got the whole “I will never be dishonest with you” speech, which I listened to with a somewhat doubtful ear, as well as how he thought I was just so über fantastic (duh) but the little voice in my head (the one that just knows when a guy is spinning me a line was by now screaming its pretty little head of and running around the room aka my head bumping into to countless inanimate objects – drove me crazy) told me otherwise and for once I did the unthinkable, I shoved that little voice into a purple (don’t ask) straight jacket and told it to shut the fuck up! Man am I sorry…

After all the scheit happened with Audi Boy I took a moment over my crisp glass of champers to ponder the relationship that I had just lost (although I clearly wasn’t too involved as my antics in Cape Town go to prove…) and came to the enlightened conclusion that the man simply has no follow through… ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NONE! It amazes me that his golf handy-cap wasn’t too shoddy. If I had been an alert, sharp tart on the look-out I would have picked this small inability up about a month ago when he just couldn’t follow through after foreplay…

FOUR!!!