Non-Smoker

So I have officially been demoted… Or is promoted? Mmmm, guess it depends which way you look at it ruh-hee-hee-here-ly but basically today is the day of new beginnings. The day my lungs will no longer have to fight to savour the intake of fresh oxygen. No longer will they be clogged with tar and nicotine, forced to deal with the blackness within – ok so this is starting to sound a bit like something written on the set of Days of Our Lives *dum dum dum*

No seriously though, I have quite smoking. Probably for the 50th time in the space of a year but this time I swear I am committed, I SWEAR! I wanted to get that point where I hated, ok that is a slight exaggeration, having a smokey Joe – my goal was to achieve this unthinkable event by the end of January…

Of course, the non-smoking universe had other plans for me...

This D day, as it came to be known in my mind, managed to somehow creep up on me like a crouching Tiger waiting to maul his prey to death (ok I have no fucking idea as to why I am using all these morbid images – maybe I am still in the grieving period over the loss of my ciggies…).

My first day as a non-smoker hasn’t been that bad. I mean I don’t know why people kick up such a fuss really, no withdrawal symptoms experienced at all, barring having the following experiences / wishes:

1. Throw cup of steaming hot coffee at irritating work colleague, smile whilst watch them scream in terror;
2. Tell Tame B to fuck right off and to derelick my balls (if I had balls);
3. Take out unidentified annoyance on keyboard, the space bar is especially appealing;
4. Swear countlessly at computer – very fucking stupid machine, I hate Bill Gates…

So all in all it has been a relatively normal day – withdrawal symptoms my ass!