Lucky Number 13!

Today my Crombie biatch turns the big 2-4! Yip, one year away from having to permanently strap on her big girl panties and pretend to be all grow’d up – I say pretend cause if Crombie actually does grow up this tart will be utterly devastated and have no choice but to sign her up for at least 10 sessions of shock therapy! Are you listening schnoodle…?!

I even sang happy birthday to Crombie, in what I can only imagine to be utterly awful and ghastly at like 7:20am in the morning! She was kind enough though to not turn this little singing exhibition into a god damn ringtone (thank fuck, praise be to the universe) For this act of kindness I send Crombie loads of birthday hugs.

But more importantly is that I have a fantastic pressie waiting for her in my car – I love giving my tart’s birthday pressies! Sometimes they like, sometimes they don’t (those that don’t never live very long though… mmmm, nudge nudge wink wink Crombster!)

But even more importantly is the drinking that shall be undertaken to celebrate what can only be described as the best mother fucking day in March!





Lots of these little puppies will be had indeed – maybe even a few bottles of bubbly. Mmmm, actually while we’re celebrating we might as well just throw in the bar. Maybe even some of the barmen too (provided of course they get the birthday girl’s nod of approval)!

So to the Crombster:
Chicken you rock my world! You are the voice of reason when mine blinds me from seeing what a complete fucking flirt I am when all boozed up…

Luff you like a fat kid loves cake…
Have an utterly awesome (and totally wicked) tarty day!