100 CANNOT come after 99!

So I kinda have this deal with The Pilot and Fifty, mmm ok wait in saying that it isn't really a deal more like them being cruel and mean to what can only be described as one fucking fantastic chick!

You see I have a slight shoe problem. And it is slight, I think most of my tarts (and now it would seem my boyfriend too) exaggerate this and make it sound like I eat, sleep and breathe shoes. Admittingly so, I love them. Nothing quite cuts the grade like an awesome, beautifully made pair of shoes. A great pair of shoes can make you feel like Clarke Kent does when he puts on the Superman outfit....

So this little "bet" came about because I am currently sitting on 99 pairs of shoes AND have a birthday coming up relatively soon to which these two thought they would buy me my 100th pair of shoes as a gift. At first, I was touched, deeply moved actually... The support for my hobby and goal of owning 300 pairs of shoes was astounding. How blessed am I, I thought...

... NOT AT FUCKING ALL.

These two bloody shoe loving supporters in disguise were secretly deciding that my 100th pair of shoes should be none other than a pair of crocs. But wait there's more - to add insult to injury, they were going to be pink and... I'd have to wear them on my birthday. Like fuck I am!

Most people would ask what the big deal was - pink crocs, ok so they ain't exactly THE most desirable shoe but nothing wrong them. To these people I say, go get your fucking heads checked. Crocs are the most hideous things ever made and yes, I know they are comfortable but for fucks sake people, have some class / catch a clue!

So this is the dilemma I know face...

The itch to reward myself with a new pair of shoezies is fast becoming a rash. But how do I go about buying a new pair of shoes, my 100th pair, and not show them off like a proud mom? For if I do this, I know those excuse for shoes are on their way and that sends me into a complete panic. I can feel the cold sweat break on my brow as I write this... The desire to be schneaky and lie telling the Pilot they are an old pair is there but I would, oddly enough, feel guilty. Bugger!