So this weekend sees the Crombster and I off to the Vaal, not for the weekend – so last season, but for the night. We both figured fuck it why not and are calling it a fucking day at 4pm to go throw name in probably the most hilarious place to do so. Seriously you should try it sometime – makes for incredible memories, that is, of course if you can remember…
Last time Crombie and I took a road trip like this, we were paralletically hammered driving back from fuck knows where in the middle of the night (or was it the morning – I seem to remember light but that could possibly have been other cars… mmmm, the mystery continues…) totally fucking lost, did I mention we were wasted? Anyways we eventually discovered that Crombie’s car comes with auto-pilot. The amazing thing about this auto-pilot thingie is that it is Top Secret 00 type of stuff – no one is ever suppose to know that a Fiat comes with such an amazing driving device, all for the reasonable price of an economy car. Talk about value! Of course, Crombie and I felt it was our duty to spread the word – but once we started getting really strange looks from everyone we began to realize that perhaps telling people we had both passed out at the same time (while Crombie was in fact driving and NOT the Fiat) was probably not such a good idea… Who would have thunk it…!
I digress (as usual)… So this time we have decided to keep it tidy and under control cause neither of us feels like being fanny raped by some big bitch called Martha!
Showing posts with label Holiday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Holiday. Show all posts
Friday, January 12, 2007
Monday, January 08, 2007
KACHING - 2007!
Hello blogging world! I’M BACK!!! Happy fucking New Year to y’all… And what a fantastic New Year it has been so far for this tart…
It was kicked off with the most brilliant holiday to Cape Town. Super H and I took a long awaited and much anticipated road trip down to the mother city – bright eyed and bushy tailed we were as we set off to embrace the holiday / festive season with all the booze and debauchery it had to offer…
The best part about being down at the Coast, besides that instant feeling of finally fucking being on oilday, is that my mojo literally goes into overdrive. Kinda like having a sixth gear or turbo boosters… Fucking awesome! Managed to rack up some fantastic numbers down there and put an end to the rather dry spell that had begun to set in – which I tell you was depressing this tart to no end. Was on the verge of ending it all with a blunt butter knife and small violin playing in the background when low and behold – KACHING – my mojo magic kicked in as fast as nitrogen gas freezes shit…
New Years especially was just so fantastic – if someone would have told me that I was about to embark on the cheapest night of life (I am talking monetary wise here people, dirty dirty minds!) I would have scoffed loudly and walked on by! This tart literally spent a sum total of 50 bucks the whole night and managed to get absolutely shit-faced, in graceful Jozi style of course… Men are real tossers but the 5 free bottles of expensive champers I managed to score (amongst other things) kinda allowed me to ignore this fact and be grateful that sometimes flashing a bit of leg is all a tart needs to do to get ahead in this world (mmmm, k now I think I am starting to be corrupted with this dirty-mind-syndrome – totally not my fault as my mojo has yet to calm down and return to normal levels, what a fan fucking tastic thing it is!)
For this wonderful and über mind-blowingly booze filled (with countless bottles of champers and cray) I must thank Crazy B, my partner in debaucherious and mischievous crime till our dying days – love you babe! You totally rock my world and Cricket Boy is damn lucky to have you on his arm or um *cough cough*… We’re so hot rite now!!!!
I must also thank Ozzie Boy (and the other 3 dudes I managed to um “spend” the night with *wicked satisfied grin*) for not only leaving a very small but telling sign on my neck – kinda left his mark per say - but for making damn fucking sure that the outside world knew just what a shag-a-licious holiday I had, in case they managed to miss the enormously phat grin on my face!The man is just too gorgeous too describe and no words will do him justice – enjoy SA, thanking you kindly *naughty laugh*
So… I am left facing the beginnings of a new year with a wonderfully stacked track record, awesome memories and looking to the rest of 2007 with much um vigor, yes vigor and of course shit loads of anticipation! But right now I think I am going to just sit here and bask in the rays of mojo-ness!
It was kicked off with the most brilliant holiday to Cape Town. Super H and I took a long awaited and much anticipated road trip down to the mother city – bright eyed and bushy tailed we were as we set off to embrace the holiday / festive season with all the booze and debauchery it had to offer…
The best part about being down at the Coast, besides that instant feeling of finally fucking being on oilday, is that my mojo literally goes into overdrive. Kinda like having a sixth gear or turbo boosters… Fucking awesome! Managed to rack up some fantastic numbers down there and put an end to the rather dry spell that had begun to set in – which I tell you was depressing this tart to no end. Was on the verge of ending it all with a blunt butter knife and small violin playing in the background when low and behold – KACHING – my mojo magic kicked in as fast as nitrogen gas freezes shit…
New Years especially was just so fantastic – if someone would have told me that I was about to embark on the cheapest night of life (I am talking monetary wise here people, dirty dirty minds!) I would have scoffed loudly and walked on by! This tart literally spent a sum total of 50 bucks the whole night and managed to get absolutely shit-faced, in graceful Jozi style of course… Men are real tossers but the 5 free bottles of expensive champers I managed to score (amongst other things) kinda allowed me to ignore this fact and be grateful that sometimes flashing a bit of leg is all a tart needs to do to get ahead in this world (mmmm, k now I think I am starting to be corrupted with this dirty-mind-syndrome – totally not my fault as my mojo has yet to calm down and return to normal levels, what a fan fucking tastic thing it is!)
For this wonderful and über mind-blowingly booze filled (with countless bottles of champers and cray) I must thank Crazy B, my partner in debaucherious and mischievous crime till our dying days – love you babe! You totally rock my world and Cricket Boy is damn lucky to have you on his arm or um *cough cough*… We’re so hot rite now!!!!
I must also thank Ozzie Boy (and the other 3 dudes I managed to um “spend” the night with *wicked satisfied grin*) for not only leaving a very small but telling sign on my neck – kinda left his mark per say - but for making damn fucking sure that the outside world knew just what a shag-a-licious holiday I had, in case they managed to miss the enormously phat grin on my face!The man is just too gorgeous too describe and no words will do him justice – enjoy SA, thanking you kindly *naughty laugh*
So… I am left facing the beginnings of a new year with a wonderfully stacked track record, awesome memories and looking to the rest of 2007 with much um vigor, yes vigor and of course shit loads of anticipation! But right now I think I am going to just sit here and bask in the rays of mojo-ness!
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